she

I think most of you other bloggers can relate to wanting to do a post and update on the general events/feelings/thoughts going on in your life and then the moments in the day all seem to disipate and you are left postless at the end of the day. It's been almost a month since the fire and what a rollercoaster it has been. First and most importantly we are doing well and making progess on all things. I started school which I adore! We celebrated the holidays with loved ones and only had one additional minor disaster, me bumping up my car on the freeway due to the ice....we like to joke that I've had my big three- divorce, fire, car wreck and now I am GOOD to go for a loonngg while! LOL! If you can't laugh at yourself what else are you goin do? :) Anyway... we are well into January and getting into the groove of things with our new school routine. The kids still go with Grandma Tobias during the day and I go to school full time and am trying to do some design work on the side. The cottage is making progress, we are all tightly snuggled up in my moms house, we all share bedrooms and make a lot of dirty dishes and run out of hot water, but we laugh and the kids always have someone loving on them and we are happy. It has been a blessing in disguise fully living back in my moms house again, my 'baby' brothers are now 16 and 18 and I get to hang out with them and 'chill' aka bond with them and I love our time together. I'm also getting to be very hip on my teenage lingo -lol, omg, idk! We have cleaned out the cottage and have started doing the first round of painting, I'm hoping to finish this weekend! We are doing teal blue, rose pink and a warm grey, it might sound odd but my colors are BHG inspired! As hard as it all is there is something very real and healing about completely and literally starting from the ground up. Everything is fresh and brand new and has the opportunity to be anything I choose to build it up into, including myself. The divorce is getting close to being at and end and I think the children are doing well all things considered. I have a tremendous amount of emotional support which has gotten me through much, however I am surprised at how much I have learned to trust myself and count on me and know that I can get myself through it alone, however I am blessed to not have to do that....if that makes sense. I have learned that people still care/love me even if they can't be there in the way I want or think that they should be there, ok this is a lesson I am still working on but at least I recognize, that's step one right ;) I am also learning to trust more in the plan that the Lord has for me that I am not quite able to see right now but I know its out there. I'm rather jaded by men right now, which I'm ok with, it allows for self reflections and time for me, which (not to sound self important) I need, I have a lot of wounds from the last 8 years I need to heal. I am not so jaded by men though as to not recognize not only the amazing Heavenly Father that I have, but the amazing earthly father I have. My father has always demanded the best for me and from me and His encouragement and love and support gets me through. My mother has her ways too, she is more subtle but her love runs deep, she frequently has warm home cooked meals for the kids and I after long days and always has hugs for tears whether for me or for the kids. My (step)dad as well has been a support to us, he is rough and tough on the outside but has a very gentle, sweet side with the kids and he works very hard for us, lately spending countless hours fixing up the cottage for us and making sure it is safe. I have another blog post planned for the all the detailed emotional and physical work it takes to clean up after the fires in our lives. Well my lovelys, I best go get some sleep for school in the morning, I love you all and hope you are taking time for YOU this year. If you need anything know I am only a phone call away.

Sweet Dreams,

XOXO

~s

the above print is an art piece off of Etsy.com titled 'SHE'; the URL will not copy over but no copyright infringement is intended