The Real Side

As I have been trying to get my design business up and running, SaraBella Designs, I have been thinking of my focus and a huge part of it is 'the real side'. I like the scrap booking industry but I feel like a huge lack in it is the actual day to day struggles we go through. I'm not going to take a picture just to fit my scrapbook page or to match the paper. I would like to say there are some lines out there that are capturing this real side right now, Melody Ross Designs is one of them. Anyway, I have had a lot of life's lessons lately and I'm not the only one. I want to help people find their victories and blessings out of the bad stuff and not shy away from it, be proud of what you are now on the other side of and stand tall and show others how to do the same. Wow, I feel like I'm on a soap box right now, which was not my intention. I just wanted to share a few of my victories that I have learned recently and I just artsy-ed up for my wall in the new cottage.

• "The relationship you will build with yourself will be the most important one you ever create." A.Brokaw
• I am a bright, intelligent and strong and any man that tries to cover my shine is not worth the light of my attention
• let your angel wings fly and your crown sparkle
• trust in yourself
• be your best friend
• be your own hero
• don't be afraid to be honest
• take care of yourself
• hold your head high and say "you will not beat me, I will be stronger than this".
• I am a divine daughter of the Lord and He provides me with my self esteem
• rise above and be a classy lady

XOXO~s

she

I think most of you other bloggers can relate to wanting to do a post and update on the general events/feelings/thoughts going on in your life and then the moments in the day all seem to disipate and you are left postless at the end of the day. It's been almost a month since the fire and what a rollercoaster it has been. First and most importantly we are doing well and making progess on all things. I started school which I adore! We celebrated the holidays with loved ones and only had one additional minor disaster, me bumping up my car on the freeway due to the ice....we like to joke that I've had my big three- divorce, fire, car wreck and now I am GOOD to go for a loonngg while! LOL! If you can't laugh at yourself what else are you goin do? :) Anyway... we are well into January and getting into the groove of things with our new school routine. The kids still go with Grandma Tobias during the day and I go to school full time and am trying to do some design work on the side. The cottage is making progress, we are all tightly snuggled up in my moms house, we all share bedrooms and make a lot of dirty dishes and run out of hot water, but we laugh and the kids always have someone loving on them and we are happy. It has been a blessing in disguise fully living back in my moms house again, my 'baby' brothers are now 16 and 18 and I get to hang out with them and 'chill' aka bond with them and I love our time together. I'm also getting to be very hip on my teenage lingo -lol, omg, idk! We have cleaned out the cottage and have started doing the first round of painting, I'm hoping to finish this weekend! We are doing teal blue, rose pink and a warm grey, it might sound odd but my colors are BHG inspired! As hard as it all is there is something very real and healing about completely and literally starting from the ground up. Everything is fresh and brand new and has the opportunity to be anything I choose to build it up into, including myself. The divorce is getting close to being at and end and I think the children are doing well all things considered. I have a tremendous amount of emotional support which has gotten me through much, however I am surprised at how much I have learned to trust myself and count on me and know that I can get myself through it alone, however I am blessed to not have to do that....if that makes sense. I have learned that people still care/love me even if they can't be there in the way I want or think that they should be there, ok this is a lesson I am still working on but at least I recognize, that's step one right ;) I am also learning to trust more in the plan that the Lord has for me that I am not quite able to see right now but I know its out there. I'm rather jaded by men right now, which I'm ok with, it allows for self reflections and time for me, which (not to sound self important) I need, I have a lot of wounds from the last 8 years I need to heal. I am not so jaded by men though as to not recognize not only the amazing Heavenly Father that I have, but the amazing earthly father I have. My father has always demanded the best for me and from me and His encouragement and love and support gets me through. My mother has her ways too, she is more subtle but her love runs deep, she frequently has warm home cooked meals for the kids and I after long days and always has hugs for tears whether for me or for the kids. My (step)dad as well has been a support to us, he is rough and tough on the outside but has a very gentle, sweet side with the kids and he works very hard for us, lately spending countless hours fixing up the cottage for us and making sure it is safe. I have another blog post planned for the all the detailed emotional and physical work it takes to clean up after the fires in our lives. Well my lovelys, I best go get some sleep for school in the morning, I love you all and hope you are taking time for YOU this year. If you need anything know I am only a phone call away.

Sweet Dreams,

XOXO

~s

the above print is an art piece off of Etsy.com titled 'SHE'; the URL will not copy over but no copyright infringement is intended

The Personality Test: Blue

Blues (Motive: Intimacy)blues are motivated by Intimacy. They seek to genuinely connect with others, and need to be understood and appreciated. Everything they do is quality-based. They are loyal friends, employers, and employees. Whatever or whomever they commit to is their sole (and soul) focus. They love to serve and give of themselves freely in order to nurture others' lives. blues have distinct preferences and have the most controlling personality. Their personal code of ethics is remarkably strong and they expect others to live honest, committed lives as well. They enjoy sharing meaningful moments in conversation as well as paying close attention to special life events (e.g. birthdays and anniversaries). blues are dependable, thoughtful, and analytical; but can also be self-righteous, worry-prone, and moody. They are "sainted pit-bulls" who never let go of something or someone once they are committed. When you deal with a BLUE, be sincere and make a genuine effort to understand and appreciate them.

the power of ONE and the power of a COMMUNITY brings out the LOVE

I am so overwhelmed with the Christmas spirit and all this deep, gut wrenching faith that I feel that I haven't felt in a LONG time. Right now I KNOW that my house was MEANT to catch on fire! I don't have it all figured out or all the answers but right now I will tell you the things I do know.

I AM LOVED: you see I have always had this awesome family and I love them and brag about them and they have gotten me through so many times I have lost count and because of this amazing family I never had any real reason to look outside of my family to the community for any reason. I have always loved the town I grew up in, its home to me but I never felt this sense of community.......until the last few days. Sometimes stuff happens and it is unimaginable and bigger than you and at first you are just MAD, I mean real deep down ticked off, so ticked off all you can do is cry cause that just seems like the only thing left to do. But then.....this makeover happens on your heart and you didn't even know your heart was in need of one. The aftermath of a fire is something so blindsiding its hard to describe. I do ok and I feel ok and then I walk in there to try to find some Tylenol or something and I just get sad and mad, but I allow myself to accept those feelings and face them and it opens yourself up to a change you didn't know you needed.

I needed to realize the power of a community, the power of a small deed and when small deeds turn into big deeds. You see I have always believed people are good, at every ones core, they ARE good, and I love people...seriously! But I never had this knowledge in my own life that peoples goodness comes out when you need it to. Even typing this it sounds as if I were a hard, cold blooded person, and that's not the case, all the time people DO good stuff, I just have never seen it first hand. My HEAD knew that out there, there is a whole lotta people who love me, but my HEART needed reminded. See I have learned all too painfully the last 3 months that actions speak louder than words and words only go so far. So I stopped believing the words, which started to make my heart not as full of love as it once was.....which is why I needed this fire. I needed a sign to make me wake up.....God knew I was feeling lost and scared and alone in the deepest sense of alone....and I wouldn't have admitted it but a part of my was dying...this good part of me that I love...and I am stubborn and God knows this. So He knew that I needed a big reminder of GOOD, the GOOD that is out there from strangers. So my house caught on fire, for no physical reason any of us our sure of....but I am sure now that PEOPLE have a POWER they don't know they have. I hope I am making sense, I am so overcome, and my tears are falling so freely....I hope I can convey this renewed sense of LOVE you have all awakened me too.

These sweet beautiful people I know and don't know all got together through the power of this ONE WOMAN and her amazing family and they brought back a piece of me I didn't know I needed back. Never doubt the power of one, for this ONE woman has had the most profound affect on my life. I consider her a 'mentor' if you will, of how to be brave and how to love, how to help, how to allow your art to flow through you and how to share that with others, a mentor of the kind of 'artsy, brave girl' I want to be when I grow up. Tonight this One and Her family brought the love, the gifts, the things for the kids, crowns and bravery to me; it all means so much and through these necessary material things I learned a necessary spiritual thing. I didn't know people would love me like this if I admitted I was vulnerable. But you DO love me and through YOUR love I was able to recognize that HE hasn't forgot about me and that HE still LOVES ME, even though I am vulnerable and I do screw up...quite a lot actually- I screw it up. This One told me in a team meeting once that 'its the really good ones who have to go through a lot to bring out that really good'. And that has always stuck with me; so it has been easier to accept my trials because I want to be a really good one so I stand up and move past these trials so I can be a good one. I know whatever I am going through will make me the BRAVE, strong, smart girl I wanna be. I wanna change the world, I want to inspire and love and lift up others. And in order to do that I have to be able to inspire, love and lift myself up and I know that going through yucky stuff to reach these aha moments is what its going to take.

So my loved ones, those of you I have meant and those I haven't.....THANK YOU a MILLION times over.............for the lesson in LOVE and helping me through this yucky thing. I want to pay it forward and share this LOVE that is consuming me......I love my community and the POWER of your kindness. Thank you for saving me and loving me this Christmas season.

Much LOVE!

XOXO~S