Sunny Days

Well, first of all and I have to say sincere thanks to all of your sweet comments, thoughts, prayers and overall love. I have been meaning to post for like two weeks but haven't had Internet. So here's all my updates...get ready to smile!

Baby (Boy) Tobias- Yes, I said boy! The last two appointments the docs have said they are pretty, pretty sure that it is a boy! We are pretty sure we saw boy material! Which is really exciting! And I really am feeling boy (I will add a small disclosure of I could be wrong). So even more exciting news than that...our odds of a favorable outcome are now 50/50 not 85/15! The docs believe that baby boy is healing himself and that the problem is going away!!! They really hope that by next appointment they can give my 95/5 odds that everything is fine! I just saw the specialist last Wednesday and I see him again in two weeks. If anyone needs a referral to a doc, I would highly recommend my docs! Now, along with all of this exciting news I just want to briefly say that I have been working on the law of attraction and applying it in my own life and its really making me feel better. I don't fully understand it yet and I still have lots of questions but its exciting to me.

4 YEARS!!! On the 19th Kevin and I celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary! We have been through so much together and I firmly believe we can get through anything else life has to offer us. He has been my rock during hard times, can always make me smile through his banter, and I feel more in love with him than I did when I married him four years ago. We have seen each other at our best and worst and all of those experiences over the years have given me a deeper respect, love and understanding for this handsome man that I get to wake up to every morning. He works so hard for our family and sacrifices so much for us. I wish I could put into words my husband, but he is just so 'him' with his quirks and mannerism that I can't even explain how cute he is! Ok, well enough of gushing about him... for our anniversary we took a trip, just the two of us, to McCall for four days and had a wonderful time. Our moms watched Addi, we missed her terribly, thanks moms for watching her! We just hung out and went fishing and four-bying in the snow, went to Riggins and bought a salmon from an Indian and just being together. Kevin also went with me to visit Carson's grave and was very supportive and sweet, I also noticed that on Memorial Day when my grandma was up she put a small white praying Angel figurine on his grave, so sweet. We had so much fun and it made me remember how important it is to make time for just the two of you as a couple.

I have also forgotten to mention that we now don't have to move until the end of October (at the earliest), which is very exciting! I'm not crazy about moving in the middle of winter but we have free rent right now so you can't beat that! Also, Addison is going to be one in a week! I can't believe it! On Monday the seventh she will be one! Its crazy! Well, that's whats going on at our home. I hope you and your families are all doing wonderful and I love reading all your blogs!

XOXO,
Sara

2 Years Ago Today

Carson Andrew Tobias
June 16, 2006

Two years ago today I had the miscarriage of my son Carson at five months pregnant. I just wanted to take a moment to think of him today. As I look back on the whole experience I think of what I have learned and how it has changed me as a person. I still miss him terribly and there is a place in my heart that will always belong to him. I also wanted to take a moment and thank all of my wonderful friends who helped me get through this. All my friends -Stacey, Angie, April, Lori, Kat, Kenna, Jesse, Nicole- stood by me strong, calling me and lending me books, taking me up to McCall and being so sweet to me. My mom was my rock, she paid for and planned the funeral up in McCall. I am so thankful to all my family that came up for that and for Nicole that drove up to take the pictures. Nicole- that meant so much to me I can't even tell you! They are all I have left of him. My co-workers were so understanding and everyone was so good to me. I couldn't have gotten though it with out you all!!

I still remember the shock of the moment, it was my first pregnancy and the thought never crossed my mind that this was an option. I was laying on the table in the position, feet in stirrups and all and she told us there wasn't a heart beat. Kevin was standing next to me and put his head on my chest and just started sobbing as did I. It was a really rough time but my doctor and mom made it easier. We received such an outpouring of love and support. I came home to a house full of flowers which were so appreciated. He was so small, the hospital gave me his footprints, they are about the size of my pinkie nail. I bought him a blanket, hat, booties for him to be burried in since he was too small for clothes. Nicole and Jesse helped me take pictures and make his cards to send out and get the song to be played at his funeral. The day I came back from work I will never forget I walked in and saw Jesse and started balwing and she gave me the sweetest, biggest, most comforting hug. You are so good to me Jesse!

I remeber one of my friends telling me it a club you don't want to belong too. I was so suprised after it happened how many other women it had happened to that I knew. Well, I'm not sure how to wrap this up cause I could go on and on. But I love you all and am thankful for your support. I belive that up in Heaven I will have a chance to be the mother to Carson that I didn't get to be here on earth. I love my little boy!

Love,
Sara

15%

One important detail I forgot to mention a couple of posts ago was that there is a 15% chance that everything will be ok. Never has a number meant so much to me. I just keep trying to tell myself that I will be a part of that 15%. That's going to be my number. I am going to be on the positive side of a medical statics this time. I am trying to be positive, have it come from the very core of me and shine out like a little sunbeam. But I feel like I have this rain cloud pouring down over my head making that impossible.

Long Medical Post

Gastroschisis
Current advances in surgical techniques and intensive care management for neonates have increased the survival rate to 90%, in adequate settings. The possibility of prenatal diagnosis either through echosonogram or any other method available allows the mother to be referred to an adequate center where a caesarean section or induced natural birth can be performed before term (as natural birth is recommended and just as safe as with a normal baby), preferably within 2 weeks of term, and allow the immediate surgery to be performed in the newborn. The general procedure for gastroschisis is to simply tuck the protruding organs back into the opening and apply a belly band pressure until the wound heals itself.

The morbidity is closely related to the presence of other malformations and complications of the wound or the intestine. Patients frequently require more than one surgery. It occurs in approximately 1 out of every 5,000 births. Approximately 20 to 40 percent will have some type of gastrointestinal abnormality such as: malrotation (bowel is not in correct position), atresia (passage is blocked), volvulus (twisting of the bowel, blood supply can be cut off), or infarction (blood supply has been cut off and that area will be damaged). Babies with gastroschisis are at an increased risk for stillbirth. The incidence of stillbirth is approximately 10 percent. These babies will often be smaller than normally expected. It is estimated that as many as 75 percent will be classified as growth restricted. This means the baby weighs less than we would expect for the gestational age.

Fetal movement counting will begin at approximately 26 weeks of gestation. You will be instructed to count your baby's movements once a day, every day, for a maximum of two hours. Your baby should move a minimum of 10 times in that two hours. If the baby moves ten times in 10 minutes you are done for that day. However if later in the day you notice your baby is not moving as much, you can always repeat the test. It is good to pick the same time each day and to do the test after eating. We often recommend a good time to do fetal movement counting is after a meal. If your baby fails this test call your doctor immediately or go directly to labor and delivery. A fetus with gastroschisis is at an increased risk for stillbirth (approximately 10 percent). Twice weekly nonstress tests will begin at around 32 weeks' gestation. Weekly biophysical profiles will begin at the same time. A biophysical profile combines the results of the nonstress test with an ultrasound. Delivery is scheduled between 35 to 37 weeks' gestation because of the increased risk for stillbirth. Labor is usually induced.

Omphalocele
An omphalocele is a birth defect in which the infant's intestine or other abdominal organs stick out of the belly button (navel). In babies with an omphalocele, the intestines are covered only by a thin layer of tissue and can be easily seen. Approximately 25 - 40% of infants with an omphalocele have other birth defects. They may include genetic problems (chromosomal abnormalities), congenital diaphragmatic hernia, and heart defects. Omphaloceles vary in size from very small to "giant". Small omphalocele's occur in 1 out of every 5,000 to 6,000 births. Large or "giant" omphaloceles occur in 1 out of every 10,000 live births. Many babies born with an omphalocele also have other abnormalities.

The chance for reoccurrence depends upon the underlying disorder:
Thirty percent have a chromosomal (genetic) abnormality, most commonly Trisomy 13, Trisomy 18, Trisomy 21, Turner syndrome, or triploidy. Some infants with omphalocele have a syndrome known as Beckwith-Wiedemann syndrome. More than half of babies with omphalocele have abnormalities of other organs or body parts, most commonly the spine, digestive system, heart, urinary system, and limbs.

How often does an omphalocele occur?
A "small" type omphalocele (involving protrusion of a small portion of the intestine only) occurs in one out of every 5,000 live births. A "large" type omphalocele (involving protrusion of the intestines, liver, and other organs) occurs in one out of every 10,000 live births.
More boys than girls are affected with omphalocele.